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CLICK THIS ---> SKYJA

I WILL NO LONGER POST ANY ENTRY HERE. PLEASE BE GUIDED ACCORDINGLY :)

PLEASE DROP BY, JUST CLICK THE LINK ABOVE. THANKS !

im so happy i can now blog at home.. no  more problem with blodgrive. :D

today's the start of my sembreak.. wooohooo!! no income but wtf, i can sleep all day! (and blog all day too!)

and yes, anger management ja.. anger management......

im here waiting for the love of my life so i decided to blog. oh gawd i missing bloggin here.
i really don't know what's fawking wrong with my pc at home. i've been trying to log in but my efforts are all in vain.. teehee..

i had my final exam in property today.. it was.. uhmm.. pretty fine.. i guess.. it's not that hard.. i was expecting it to be as hard as nails but.. surprise!! i finished an hour before 3pm.. not bad huh? hehe. i just hope i'll get a good grade.. i need it.. or else....

my head is hurting like its about to explode any minute. must be the radiation from this fawking monitor.. or is it because of staying up late and waking up early just to read about easement? i am wearing glasses now, ya.. panira ng porma.. i look like a geek.. eeewwww!!!

oh by the way.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIEL.. way to go buddy.. 26 years of existence.. i just hope you.. well.. uhmm.. you and mae.. oh i'm just blabbing :D

belated happy birthday as well to my unica hijo.. TONIE.. i know galit ka na.. dami ko na utang.. but hey.. don't blame me.. finals ko kasi eh..

can i share something? argh.. i feel like vomitting.... ewwww! lols.  

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Tears streaming down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20

midterm's over.. good grief.

SUNDAY, aug 21

now for today.

true. very true.

but before that, pwede ko ba murahin sarili ko this early? one time lang.

punyeta ka ja hehe.

haay.. pano ko ba sisimulan.. oh well.. i have been smoking since 2nd year college.. nag stop ako for a year, went back.. stop ulit for couple of months and went back again.. but there was no intention of engaging in that vice for good. i have to admit i smoked awfully a lot since i started in law school. what can you expect? smoking is legal in the campus.. smoking relieves stress esp when you're about to have a recitation.. smoking calms me.. it makes me think 10 times better (ok, this one i just made up. haha!)

last night, i decided na palabhan yung pants ko. argh. i forgot i left that fucking lighter sa pocket. and jaraaaaaaan... the stupid maid gave the lighter to my mom.. read it.. SA MAMA KO!

so there. my mom handed me the lighter and asked casually "bakit ka may lighter? naninigarilyo ka ba?"

PATAY.

i'm so lucky i'm still groggy since i'm sleepin.. i answered lazily with "hindi". just that. i didnt even bother to explain myself coz that would be too obvious or somewhat guilty.

and now the ultimate question is.. pag tinanong ba ako ulit ng mama ko, AAMIN NA BA ko?

jesus. i'm 23 years old. and yes, sila nagpapa-aral saken (ouch ouch ouch!). and even if i'm an adult already.. i still can't deny the fact that i am still under their administration since its their money i'm wasting este using.

so what will happen to me now?

i wish i know. GrRrR! napaka careless kasi!!

actually this is the third time.. so i guess they have an idea already.. or kung masyado sila tiwala saken na kahit uber obvious na ignore pa rin nila. 1st was when i accidentally (or stupid lang talaga ko? hey, c'mon, first mistake to eh) left a pack of yosi inside my bag and my mom out of the blue suddenly decided to borrow that bag. she asked me that same question as above. my lame excuse? i told her we had to analyze the nicotine content of the cigarettes. i hope she believed me. haha.. second was with my dad.. i have two packs of yosi in my bag and i decided to throw them away..san ko tinapon? sa common trash can namin. all of a sudden nakita ko hawak na nya yung plastic na andon yung yosi plus two skyflakes na di pa nabubuksan. he asked me kung baket ko raw tinapon yung skyflakes eh hindi pa nga raw nabubuksan.. waaaaaa!!!!!! kinuha ko nga agad. sobrang kita kaya sa plastic. wish ko lang bulag dad ko that time. hayy.. and eto na yung third time...

ewan ko ha, this time around, parang patay na talaga ako..as in dead!!! hehe!!

oh well.. life sucks.. and it's just unfortunate na it's my day.

i'm also thinking na maybe, just maybe.. eto na yung sign na i should stop smoking. haha. oh well goodluck diba?! instead of dying sa lung cancer.. i'll die of stress and nervousness.. add to that na insane pa ko.
what a nice ending. sheesh.

please forgive me i am not my usual self today...

i have been reading my tax book since 7am today and its getting on my nerves.. i still have approximately 70+ pages to read and i don't know why i'm online.. teeheehee..

i'm now drinking my fourth cup of coffee.. you know.. to keep me sane and awake but i guess its not working.. it's driving me crazy though.. why does tax have to be this hard? argh!!

sleep.. i need to sleep!! maybe i'll take a nap and hope that i'll be a different person when i wake up.. sounds good to me :D

-----

i so love it when it rains. malamig eh. sarap magjacket. hehe.

but i have to admit that the rain can bring back scars.. and unwanted memories..

it was july of 2003.. we went to baguio.. i had the time of my life there.. it was raining when i went home (na hindi nagpaalam sa mama ko. hehe) and it was her hand that washed my fears away.

enough.

on the lighter side......

spongebob's home already.

it was a gift from acrit last saturday.

it's so much fun to see those stuffed toys scattered in my bed.

kahit wala na kong space basta gusto ko marami sila!

periwinkle's still there.. i'm still thinking of including bea and janah.. (they are gifts from my ex SOs.)

it was acrit's idea to keep those things. so be it. madali akong kausap.

---

hayyyy.... pagod na pagod na ko.

Why Do I Love Her?
Contributed by eya (Edited by amplifier)  
Monday, August 01, 2005 @ 12:01:44 AM


Why do I love her and not him, and him, and another him? Well, I can’t bring myself to love them; I can’t bring myself to even try. I had experiences with other hims and what I have with her now is simply different. Way different.

Why do I love her? Loving her has no reasons. I just simply do. And that’s just one difference between loving her and loving them hims: loving them has to have reasons because otherwise there’s no point in loving them at all.

I love her not because she loves me back. There are others who love me, others who would be willing to love me, others who would care for me. But I don’t need them—it’s her I need. Her warmth, understanding, acceptance, affection, beauty, temperament, mood swings, and flaws—I need all that. I need her.

It is only when I’m with her that I am most secure and comfortable. I can be anyone and anything when I’m with her. She accepts the whole of me and she understands my shortcomings. Whether I succeed or fail, I know she’ll be beside me.

She lets me grow as a person. I tend to let my world revolve around her and only her sometimes, as if there’s no one else in this world but the two of us. She knows that this isn’t healthy and that we have to have space for personal growth and time for ourselves. A stable relationship calls for stable individuals; and for our relationship to blossom and last for a long time, we both have to continue to develop and to mature together and individually.

Most importantly, while we are lovers, we are also best friends. After a tiring day, it would be nice to just talk to her—telling anecdotes, exchanging views, catching up on the going ons of each other’s lives. When all is said and done, she is not only my best friend, she is also my shock-absorber, my angel, my teddybear, my adviser, my inspiration, my motivation—my everything.

So understand that there are no reasons why I love her. I just do.